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It seems that there’s an XKCD comic for every life situation that we run in to. One of my favorites, by far, is the comic titled “Dating pools.” This comic highlighted the Standard Creepiness Rule, a.k.a.the “half-your-age-plus-seven” rule, which states that no person should date someone under (age / 2 7), otherwise they will look like a creeper. Poisson Hat guy is holding a golf club and speaking into a P. system Hat guy: Attention, Hat guy: To the owner of a Dodge Viper SRT-10 with license plate "MYTOY", your lights are on and your windshield was just smashed with a golf club. I'm not sure if this is actually true Snakes on a Plane! We see the same things every day, we respond the same way, we think the same thoughts, each day a slight variation on the last, every moment smoothly following the gentle curves of societal norms. It throws Guy to the edge of the panel, pinned to the wall.]] I really shouldn't abuse that power so heavily. First man and his next line are also green.]] First man: Wait, what does that gesture even mean? Filler Art Text above plain stick figure Text: Sorry guys no comic today. alt-text: And she's gonna feel like a jerk when she realizes it was actually Under Pressure. Tycho's writing continues to astound day after day. Ron Paul tosses his cane aside Ron Paul steadily transforms into Tron Paul Narrator: RON PAUL evolves into TRON PAUL Light cycle begins to form Tron Paul bends over the light cycle Light cycle finishes its formation Light cycle speeds off, trailing an American flag It's time to draw the line. Zoomed out, pattern of rocks, shadow eclipsing it. With the right set of rules and enough space, Zoomed out showing pattern. I was able to build a computer. I knew it." XKCD - Salutes Bio Majors Bottle is pouring into a flask, and a man takes the flask and drinks from it If we join you against the chemists, will you train your fleshy minions to leave us alive? unplugged cell phone on table Stick figure: First I tried her cell phone, but it's off. Woman: I finished the floor Hat Guy: Good; he'll be home any- Oh crap! There's a clock on the wall.]] Time has passed. Machine: They examine the sample. Male Scientist: Okay, we've determined there's neither barium nor radium in this sample. ' G-Spot A study published in the journal of sexual medicine suggests that the g-spot may not actually exist. The end of the command line is a |grep sam. The server's uptime grows because you can't bring yourself to reboot and wipe out their last earthly presence The processes listed are screen, zsh, irssi, and grep sam. the ghost in zshell. Copyright Colored drawing of a hilly grassy landscape, stick figure leaning against a tree. Man: Sometimes I just can't get outraged over copyright law After reading Slashdot and Boing Boing, sometimes I have to go outside. Your village called they want their idiot back Go away I hate you all DIE. Maybe if this T-shirt is witty enough, someone will finally love me. I accidentally took the Fourier transform of my cat ... That cat has some serious periodic components Meat Cereals A collection of fictional meat based cereals Pork Loops Mice Krispies Hammios Frosted Bacon Flakes Scrapple Jacks Honey Bunches of Goats A tribute to Buttercup Festival Su Doku A square divided into 2x2 squares, the top-right one has an 1 in it, the bottom-right one has a 0, the two left ones are empty Label: Binary Su Doku This one is from the Red Belt collection, of 'medium' difficulty. There's a red convertible outside my building with the license plate ' DADS MNY'. Wright Brothers A man and a woman are talking to each other Man: I've heard that when the Wright brothers argued, they periodically switched sides in the debate to try to encourage a more balanced conclusion. Woman: It's a neat idea, but I think treating personal issues like a debate will only engender hostility and hurt feelings. 2 A sky full of jumbo jets is shown in movie poster format. Top of the poster: From the creators of last summer's hit thriller Snakes On a Plane comes: Superimposed on the sky and planes: Snakes... We act like if we just get through today, tomorrow our dreams will come back to us. I don't know how to jolt myself into seeing what each moment could become. A Way So Familiar Person 1: I saw a cute girl outside the bank today. I've gotta go to the doctor to get my thighs rotated. And she's gonna feel like a jerk when she realizes it was actually Under Pressure. I can just see him, reading my uncultured swill masquerading as his florid prose. He's sitting at his desk smiling that condescending half-smile, the corner of his mouth belying the self-assurance of a writer who never misplaces a word. The Ron Paul Revolution blimp begins to sink, smoking more heavily The blimp sinks further Pilot: Sir, maybe if we dropped all this gold... Inside the control room, tilted slightly Pilot: We've lost, sir. Secretary: Part 5 Chairman: We were convened here to review your nomination for the position of internet secretary. Each new row of stones is the next iteration of the computation. Unless the CS students finish the robot revolution before you finish the cephalopod one. The next panel is blank Girl sitting in front of a console Girl: Whoops, one of the Arduino control boards sublimated. Stick figure sitting on steps, laptop in lap and gesturing Stick figure: Then I tried IRC, but she's not online. We go live to the researchers' press conference: Reporters stand below a researcher at a podium. Reporter: Is it true you've been unable to find evidence that the g-spot exists? And every day it gets harder to fight the urge to su to the user and freak people out. Teacher (italic): Then England will drift out to sea.A forlorn male in a coat, a male with combed hair, a male with spiky hair and arms outstretched enthusiastically, a female with long hair and cornrows, a shorter female with stringy hair falling over her face, an enthusiastic female with arms raised in celebration with shorter hair, a male with short hair and a goatee, a female with curly hair wearing a dress, and a stern-looking man with flyaway hair. Man: Because I'm totally a poisson distribution. Man is gone; Hat Guy is whistling. Poisson distributions have no value over negative numbers Canyon Two men are standing at some kind of cliff edge Man 1: What time is it? Full scene is revealed: the men are standing at the edge of a huge canyon in a rocky, barren landscape. 569 Iambic Pentameter Person 1: What time can you pick Michael up? Riemann-Zeta poster Man: I love that girl. Woman: You know, I'm active in street theatre and I collect and paint Asian dolls. When I throw the lever, you will feel centrifugal force crush every bone in your body. two men are talking, one is hat-man The Mathematics of Cunnilingus f(t) F(w) L(s) Challenges in Frequency-domain analysis This project actually inspired a two-hour powerpoint presentation that Al Gore gave around the country. The sheer number of experiences I could have is uncountable, breathtaking, and I'm sitting here refreshing my inbox. Commented Laying down rows of rocks. First man: Hey, can you do me a favor? They're a class act, they know their audience, they know exactly what they're doing. Hat Guy: It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels. Cuttlefish float out of the tank at man and woman One day I started laying down rows of rocks. Scientist - "When we realized how intelligent they were, we began to teach them. Cuttlefish: GO." Ponytailed stick figure approaches stick figure, who is sitting on porch steps, laptop in lap and backpack open Cuttlefishes- "Kill the physicists... I'm An Idiot Screen next to him shows two statements, both crossed out in red Ponytailed stick figure: Should I ask? Slightly before first base: Downloading Star Trek fanfiction and replacing Riker's name with your Crush's. Between the pitcher and second base: Using the scroll thingy on that one Apple mouse. A line traveling across the second to third baseline, and towards home plate: The orgasm line. Randall - it's an honor to speak to you, some of the brightest innovators from so many fields, about a problem in desperate need of your attention: Randall - How DO you end parenthetical statements with emoticons? Randall writing on a desk Screen - "Linux (or BSD :) would..." (in red) "looks mismatched" "Linux (or BSD :)) would..." (in red) "looks mismatched and weird" Man with briefcase enters the house Randall's List - Conferences I'm banned from: Siggraph Eurocrypt Defcon Pycon International Astronomical Union Canadian Paleontology Conference Every American Furry Convention American Baking Society Asian Dolphin-Training Conference TED The IAU ban came after the 'redefinition of 'planet' to include the IAU president's mom' incident. A guy is looking at a kindle Hat Guy: Hi. Just yesterday I bought my first non-DRM'd songs (The Last Vegas, in keeping with my ' I only listen to things from Guitar Hero' theme). It wouldn't smash the right tiny things together. Kindle A is standing behind B, who is typing at a computer. Girl: A Kindle? The other scientist is on the phone.]] Caged Rat: Squeak! The most brutal way I've ever seen someone handle this was ' Oh, you have a girlfriend. ' ' I, uh, don't know--' ' Well, do you love her? The BBC lead was ' The elusive erogenous zone said to exist in some women may be a myth, say researchers who have hunted for it.' I couldn't read it with a straight face.There is no dialogue.]] Mal, Simon, Wash, Zoe, River, Kaylee, Jayne, Inara, Book. A pock-marked moon and a ringed planet are visible in the burgundy-coloured sky]] Man 1: That's a pretty boring answer. Man 2: It's the least boring answer imaginable. Person 2: Well, I can meet the plane at ten of six. Person 2: I'll meet him at the stairs before the gate. Dreams Black Hat shoots a rainbow colored ray from his chest - the Care Bear Stare. Hat man is holding his first and second fingers parallel and at an angle, and they are green. The next two panels are just text. Hat man: Commented! Camera zooms out slightly Narrator: I can't do this. Gabe experiments with his art, always bold and fresh without trying to perform. Pattern of rocks on a grid. Ron Paul: You take the blimp and fall back. Arrow|Text=null Target=8b. kill the physicists" Waking up from his sleep Man- A diagram of a baseball diamond. "Oh god. Stick figure: I'm locked out, and I'm trying to get my roommate to let me in. Bases and x points are marked, as well as dashed lines covering the field. The "Base" Metaphor Explained Along the first base line is "Your Base" Slightly right of that is a binary base: 0110 0010 0110 0001 0111 0011 0110 0101 0010 0000 0011 0010] Second base: Hands under the shirt and or licking Third base: Oral sex (formerly "hands in the pants") Randall Monroe on stage ((The following are x marks. ((dry humping is on the "orgasm" side.)) Between third base and home: "Virginity" (Maginot) line.)) ((Arrows pointing out various other features: An arrow crossing the "Virginity" line: Teens. An arrow crossing the orgasm line in the outfield: Napoleon's forces.)) I once got to second base with a basketball player. TED Talk Hat Guy is holding blood stained rags while woman is holding an equally bloody mop Randall - Hi. Cover-Up A man points to a diagram of a particle accelerator Hat Guy: Okay, got the blood off the walls. Did you know "gullible" is written on your ceiling? Simple One of the scientists pulls levers on another machine, which is shooting some kind of ray downwards a a sample. Man 1: Do you have any thoughts regarding the particle accelerator's tertiary F. The other scientist is operating a machine with a scope, flasks, coils, and bubbles. Two scientists in lab coats and goggles place a sample into a machine. ' '...' ' Anyway, what were you saying about the movie? Admin Mourning A stick figure says to another black-hat-wearing figure. When a user dies, their connections time out, but their screen sessions linger.It’s a novel idea, but xkcd stops short of actually recommending such passwords, and so will I. I’m not responsible for anything that happens as a result of your password choice.(But if you’re just signing up for a kitten video forum, you’re probably safe.) In case you missed the strip, here it is: Other generators have popped up online, but unlike most of those, this generator only uses English words.

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It seems that there’s an XKCD comic for every life situation that we run in to. One of my favorites, by far, is the comic titled “Dating pools.” This comic highlighted the Standard Creepiness Rule, a.k.a.

the “half-your-age-plus-seven” rule, which states that no person should date someone under (age / 2 7), otherwise they will look like a creeper.

Poisson Hat guy is holding a golf club and speaking into a P. system Man: I'm a poisson distribution! They're standing at the lip of the canyon, which isn't clear at all. Of course, you don't wanna limit yourself to the strict forms of the meter. Attention, shopper Text above plain stick figure Hat guy: Attention, Hat guy: To the owner of a Dodge Viper SRT-10 with license plate "MYTOY", your lights are on and your windshield was just smashed with a golf club. I'm not sure if this is actually true Snakes on a Plane! We see the same things every day, we respond the same way, we think the same thoughts, each day a slight variation on the last, every moment smoothly following the gentle curves of societal norms. It throws Guy to the edge of the panel, pinned to the wall.]] I really shouldn't abuse that power so heavily. First man and his next line are also green.]] First man: Wait, what does that gesture even mean? Filler Art Ron Paul tosses his cane aside Text: Sorry guys no comic today. alt-text: And she's gonna feel like a jerk when she realizes it was actually Under Pressure. Tycho's writing continues to astound day after day. Ron Paul steadily transforms into Tron Paul Light cycle begins to form Narrator: RON PAUL evolves into TRON PAUL Tron Paul bends over the light cycle Light cycle finishes its formation Light cycle speeds off, trailing an American flag Zoomed out, pattern of rocks, shadow eclipsing it. It's time to draw the line. Zoomed out showing pattern. With the right set of rules and enough space, Bottle is pouring into a flask, and a man takes the flask and drinks from it I was able to build a computer. I knew it." XKCD - Salutes Bio Majors unplugged cell phone on table If we join you against the chemists, will you train your fleshy minions to leave us alive? Time has passed. Stick figure: First I tried her cell phone, but it's off. Woman: I finished the floor Hat Guy: Good; he'll be home any- Oh crap! There's a clock on the wall.]] They examine the sample. Machine: The end of the command line is a |grep sam. Male Scientist: Okay, we've determined there's neither barium nor radium in this sample. ' G-Spot A study published in the journal of sexual medicine suggests that the g-spot may not actually exist. The processes listed are screen, zsh, irssi, and grep sam. The server's uptime grows because you can't bring yourself to reboot and wipe out their last earthly presence Colored drawing of a hilly grassy landscape, stick figure leaning against a tree. the ghost in zshell.

Copyright A collection of fictional meat based cereals Man: Sometimes I just can't get outraged over copyright law After reading Slashdot and Boing Boing, sometimes I have to go outside. Your village called they want their idiot back Go away I hate you all DIE. Maybe if this T-shirt is witty enough, someone will finally love me. I accidentally took the Fourier transform of my cat ... That cat has some serious periodic components Meat Cereals A square divided into 2x2 squares, the top-right one has an 1 in it, the bottom-right one has a 0, the two left ones are empty Pork Loops Mice Krispies Hammios Frosted Bacon Flakes Scrapple Jacks Honey Bunches of Goats A tribute to Buttercup Festival Su Doku Label: Binary Su Doku A man and a woman are talking to each other This one is from the Red Belt collection, of 'medium' difficulty. There's a red convertible outside my building with the license plate ' DADS MNY'. Wright Brothers A sky full of jumbo jets is shown in movie poster format. Man: I've heard that when the Wright brothers argued, they periodically switched sides in the debate to try to encourage a more balanced conclusion. Woman: It's a neat idea, but I think treating personal issues like a debate will only engender hostility and hurt feelings. 2 The Ron Paul Revolution blimp begins to sink, smoking more heavily Top of the poster: From the creators of last summer's hit thriller Snakes On a Plane comes: Superimposed on the sky and planes: Snakes... We act like if we just get through today, tomorrow our dreams will come back to us. I don't know how to jolt myself into seeing what each moment could become. A Way So Familiar Person 1: I saw a cute girl outside the bank today. I've gotta go to the doctor to get my thighs rotated. And she's gonna feel like a jerk when she realizes it was actually Under Pressure. I can just see him, reading my uncultured swill masquerading as his florid prose. He's sitting at his desk smiling that condescending half-smile, the corner of his mouth belying the self-assurance of a writer who never misplaces a word. The blimp sinks further Inside the control room, tilted slightly Pilot: Sir, maybe if we dropped all this gold... The next panel is blank Pilot: We've lost, sir. Secretary: Part 5 Chairman: We were convened here to review your nomination for the position of internet secretary. Each new row of stones is the next iteration of the computation. Unless the CS students finish the robot revolution before you finish the cephalopod one. Girl sitting in front of a console Stick figure sitting on steps, laptop in lap and gesturing Girl: Whoops, one of the Arduino control boards sublimated. Reporters stand below a researcher at a podium. Stick figure: Then I tried IRC, but she's not online. We go live to the researchers' press conference:

The cuboids hang in the air with no visible means of support. Reporter: Is it true you've been unable to find evidence that the g-spot exists? And every day it gets harder to fight the urge to su to the user and freak people out. Teacher (italic): Then England will drift out to sea.

]] Several stick figures stand side by side in a lineup. Man, why are all my relationships ruined by early 90's rappers? Quirky Girls B stands beside A Hat Guy: Do you like my centrifuge, Mister Bond? Simply construct Newton's laws into a rotating system and you will see a centrifugal force term appear as plain as day. Bond: Come now, do you really expect me to do coordinate substitution in my head while strapped to a centrifuge? Remember, raptors run at 10 m s and they do not know fear. Science Fair Although it caught me by surprise at the time, looking back I understand why my senior science fair project went over as badly as it did. Caption: My Hobby: mispronouncing Words] B: The infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind. A pain down in her soul, the same as the one down in mine. Person 1: The police light played through her mohawk like the sun setting through pine trees as she shoveled the third hooker into the trunk of the camry... Two Hedwig references, an obscure Joey Comeau reference, and a girl with a mohawk. Mispronouncing There is a screencap of Google's front page with the following entries suggested for autocompletion in the search box: velociraptors site:"jurassic park" raptors dromaeosaurids utahraptor "home depot" deadbolts security home improvement surviving a raptor attack robert bakker paleontologist robert bakker "possible raptor sympathizer" site:en.surviving a raptor attack learning from mistakes in jurassic park big-game rifles tire irons treating raptor wounds do raptors fear fire how to make a molotov cocktail do raptors fear death can raptors pick locks how to tell if my neighbors are raptors Man 1: Yeah, did you see what he said on his wobsite? Search History Author: In solidarity with the many AOL users whose often embarrassing web searches were released to the public, I offer a sample of my own search history: Man is in a classroom setting, girl and professor are present Something Awful has a wonderful compilation of crazy AOL searches in their Weekend Web archives, 2006-08-13. Good lord; listening to internet arguments all day? Chairman: Then why did you sit through all those hearings? Walking on a rocky desert. Narrator: if you think the minutes in your morning lecture are taking a long time for _YOU_... Theft of the Magi The next three panels are blank So I'm stuck in this desert for eternity. Took a lot of thinking, but this place has fewer distractions than a swiss patent office. And their sides are 200 dpi display screens which they use for camouflage and communication. Girl showing laptop to guy The next panel is blank Girl: But according to this email forward, Santa is secretly a Muslim! shows an adaptation of the sierpinski triangle fractal, using hearts instead of triangles Girl: Okay, the cloned raptors are hunting the last of the cyborgs. If you get your hands on that one, it's the worst place to have a breaking-up conversation. Left outfield: Retrograde wheelbarrow.)) ((The following are dashed lines: A region along the line from first to second base: The Boring Zone. Sierpinski Valentine Text at the bottom reads "I spent all night reading simple.wikipedia.org, and now I can't stop talking like this. center: Happy valentine's day bottom right: -xkcd Especially you mouseover-text readers. Man: But I don't actually like music, I just like being self-righteous on the web. {{title text: Just yesterday I bought my first non-DRM'ed songs (The Last Vegas, in keeping with my ' I only listen to things from Guitar Hero' theme). Man 2: We can't put the broken part in the machine. Two people are talking. Actually, I think if all higher math professors had to write for the Simple English Wikipedia for a year, we'd be in much better shape academically. One of the scientists is holding a glowing implement; she has another rat in her hand and one on her head. We Get It Person 1 walks out of the panel. Person 1: Avatar? Person 1 returns with a ladder. Person 1 stands on top of the ladder, shouting through a megaphone. Several stick figures stand side by side in a lineup. Man, why are all my relationships ruined by early 90's rappers? Quirky Girls B stands beside A They are six-legged spiders Serenity is coming out tomorrow Caption: My Hobby: mispronouncing Words Hat Guy: Do you like my centrifuge, Mister Bond? Simply construct Newton's laws into a rotating system and you will see a centrifugal force term appear as plain as day. Bond: Come now, do you really expect me to do coordinate substitution in my head while strapped to a centrifuge? Remember, raptors run at 10 m s and they do not know fear. Science Fair Although it caught me by surprise at the time, looking back I understand why my senior science fair project went over as badly as it did. There is a screencap of Google's front page with the following entries suggested for autocompletion in the search box: velociraptors site:"jurassic park" raptors dromaeosaurids utahraptor "home depot" deadbolts security home improvement surviving a raptor attack robert bakker paleontologist robert bakker "possible raptor sympathizer" site:en.surviving a raptor attack learning from mistakes in jurassic park big-game rifles tire irons treating raptor wounds do raptors fear fire how to make a molotov cocktail do raptors fear death can raptors pick locks how to tell if my neighbors are raptors] B: The infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind. A pain down in her soul, the same as the one down in mine. Person 1: The police light played through her mohawk like the sun setting through pine trees as she shoveled the third hooker into the trunk of the camry... Two Hedwig references, an obscure Joey Comeau reference, and a girl with a mohawk. Mispronouncing Man is in a classroom setting, girl and professor are present Man 1: Yeah, did you see what he said on his wobsite? Search History Author: In solidarity with the many AOL users whose often embarrassing web searches were released to the public, I offer a sample of my own search history: Walking on a rocky desert. Something Awful has a wonderful compilation of crazy AOL searches in their Weekend Web archives, 2006-08-13. Good lord; listening to internet arguments all day? Chairman: Then why did you sit through all those hearings? The next three panels are blank Narrator: if you think the minutes in your morning lecture are taking a long time for _YOU_... Theft of the Magi Girl showing laptop to guy So I'm stuck in this desert for eternity. Took a lot of thinking, but this place has fewer distractions than a swiss patent office. And their sides are 200 dpi display screens which they use for camouflage and communication. The next panel is blank shows an adaptation of the sierpinski triangle fractal, using hearts instead of triangles Girl: But according to this email forward, Santa is secretly a Muslim! Text at the bottom reads "I spent all night reading simple.wikipedia.org, and now I can't stop talking like this. Girl: Okay, the cloned raptors are hunting the last of the cyborgs. If you get your hands on that one, it's the worst place to have a breaking-up conversation. Left outfield: Retrograde wheelbarrow.)) ((The following are dashed lines: A region along the line from first to second base: The Boring Zone. Sierpinski Valentine Two people are talking. center: Happy valentine's day bottom right: -xkcd Especially you mouseover-text readers. Man: But I don't actually like music, I just like being self-righteous on the web. {{title text: Just yesterday I bought my first non-DRM'ed songs (The Last Vegas, in keeping with my ' I only listen to things from Guitar Hero' theme). Man 2: We can't put the broken part in the machine. Person 1 walks out of the panel. Actually, I think if all higher math professors had to write for the Simple English Wikipedia for a year, we'd be in much better shape academically. One of the scientists is holding a glowing implement; she has another rat in her hand and one on her head. We Get It Person 1 returns with a ladder. Person 1: Avatar? Person 1 stands on top of the ladder, shouting through a megaphone. [[Person 1 returns with a ladder.]] [[Person 1 stands on top of the ladder, shouting through a megaphone.]] Person 1: ... Person 2: You know, if this phase of your relationship lasts more than a week, I'm legally allowed to stab you both. Person 1: So, did I mention I'm seeing someone? The rule would theoretically create a paradox for people under 14, because the younger partner would have to be older than the older partner, but 14 is about the youngest you can be and make anything even remotely resembling adultish decisions respecting relationships anyway, so this rule works out rather well. This has the advantage of allowing for a larger age gap the older the partners get; the four-year age gap between a 22-year-old and an 18-year-old is significant (and just barely allowed by this rule), but the same age gap between an 86-year-old and a 90-year-old isn't worth comment.(And now we see why the last panel of the XKCD comic above applies so well to me…) Sure enough, if we overlay Rudder’s Ok Cupid data over the first chart, we see that men follow the rule almost exactly.There are a few spots in the mid-30’s where men seem willing to dip ever so slightly past the safe zone of non-creepiness, but that trend quickly ends by their 40’s.

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